~hopeless useless cold blooded not a good frenn selfishh soooohoooon~


juz now was readin on yu qian blog juz wanna check how is she. it had been hard on herr..

to my dearest dearest ex sheep

i noe i haf not set a good example..
but u had..
so u muz jia you ok?
God haf his reason for everytin
trust in Him
if u realli feel sad
muz share to ur shepherd
i believe u did
dun so sad ok?
u can overcome it

lurve
soohoon


was seein yq blog some tears juz flow down but i ctrl.. feel so sad.. wen i see it.. e effort of wantin to help her.. but e feelin tat i cannoot... broke my heart.. if i could stay i will help her.. but i m not so good lahz. i stay thn not so mani prb but i mean one more ppl more strenght to help..

tat time i was beri bad.. i ask jie ning to take e kfc seat.. tat time i sit there wif joyce n sz n tat is e most painful moment of my life.. so pain.. but i did not blame anyone but i thnx God to let mi learn n rmb he lurve mi..i tot of puttin e pic in my frenster wanna to wrote tat seat that broke my life.. crazieee?? haizz...

i miss my ex sheeps.. i was tinkin last nite.. tat time pei yu is a nb i go her hse.. gif her corn soup wif abby.. tat kind of desire tat i wanna meet my sheep n bless her.. haf no longer been in mi.. now in skol.. i dun even wanna care.. like judi fall down smth i dun even care to stop n help her.. i got but smth e pain i haf in my heart stoppped mi.. i scare i will step on her or wat.. thn i walk alone holdin on to e pain i had.. god forgiv mi.. 2 mth haf passed i m not in church yett i wann to goo backk..buttt.. smmthhh is stoppin mii.. e ppainn i m goin bacckk to e painn i m fearrin.. abby call mi i dun even pick up she invite mi to her hsee.. i dun evenn wann to goo allthouu i wanna go soo muchh.. i starrtt to ttinnkk.. tat i leavee so lonng.. evenn asha pei yuuu tania we nvv tokk le even in skoll py alwaysss gif mii a feelinn tat is so weridd tat she dunnnwanna tokk to mii.. tat pain.. i commit myselff to stardeeinnn workkin.. beri beri tirredd but i haff nooo choicce to nummbb off my feelinn evt i m alone.. in bus i will use loud blasst technno yo numbb off e painn..

smmthh i noe e church fren like jency n wendy miss mi e fact is i miss em much more.. i m tinkinn of em everydae inn skoll.. rathher thn my skoll frenn.. evenn b4 i m slpiinn.. e miss but yet i hide it.. i dun wanna meet emm.. i haf noo courragee.. let mii b hiddenn..