~i m JoYfUL 4 u'Re wiF mE~

yeah i blog again perhaps my joy n pain i can onli share to my computer.. TODAE I SPEND QT hahahaha so happie i finally did it i was readin on fear.. daily bread for todae cuz it is easier for mi to understand.. the qns was askin wat e greatest fear u haf now.. perhaps i was tinkin goin to hell depart from God.. n oso facin wif e hurts everydae.. i noe u all perhaps not judgin mi wat if u r mi? will u get hurt by e remarks.. yes i m ... but i gettin rid of it soon.. thx God u haf been pourin so much lurve in mi tat i dun ever haf e couarge to hate too i once tinkin of hatin everyone not trustin anyone but God's unconditional lurve make mi not doin tat...


spend qt.. dunno hu to share so share to blog bahz.;. share to God le.. keke.. well lookin forward of meetin God tml.. i m hungry i m a hungry child i nid spiritual food i noe man fails i dun wanna depend on em le.. bible stardee i all dun wan.. i juz noe that i can onli help myself pick up now.. even God is wif mi onli.. i m not lonely all i wan is Him.. he is e most impt..

still tinkin wheter to go cos nite life not.. goin to hope is so werid.. i can't step in cuz wen i see em i see my hurts i will ju tear i beome beri fragile.. even wen i worhsip i will juz tear wen i recall my hurts i dunno y i try to hold backbut i can't i find it so hard to worhsip in public in svc later i keep cryin hahahahaa... crazyie rite.. i worship i wan but my heart feel achin so much i dunno y.. y do u all keep tinkin of mi.. y i was not given e chance to clarify.. now my heart is printed wif e hurts..



imppprinntedd hurrtts..



i m glad for i spend qt todae.. my blog wil get happier everydae.. wat for i sad for those bunch of ppl.. y i m so devasted of em? no i shld not.. it is not worth n it will make mi more selflish blamin spirit.. ya.. i wan to stand up myself.!

i m devasted i haf no choice but to take e last path-

well.. todaee.. haha.. i din even share out anytin to my frenx.. but shanz knew she sae she see evt frm my blog can noe wat is happenin to mi.. cuz yest nite she call mi but act. wanna tell her thn i tinkin dun cuz i dun usuaally share to ppl thru fone or verbal.. she ask mi to go her church for svc cuzx better thn not goin any church mahz.. i oso told her i did tink b4.. i noe God in COs is e same as in HOpe of God.. wat will u tink God?.. my mentality is in other church i will worship u not wif my best all dis.. anyway i better go to svc or wat.. rather doin nth.. haizz...


well.. todae got alot of h/w.. i told shanz she oso sae she understand bhz.. later still got workkk.. got abraion ay my leg here beri pain beri hard to walk.. but how hard i wil still walk.. i m not lettin go of Jesus.. may ppl look down on mi i noe u nv di u nb once did... i m gratefull.. u r tokin to mi always.. u din leave mi man will leave mi but i noe u wun.. never wil u.. god i dunno y ... y muz i always b so sad over church stuffs over hurts? y? haha i not dun wan to put down but i can't it will juz comin back.. dis hurts is not bout mi alone.. y ppl tink i dun understand y they dun wanna to put their place in my shoes...


about tania i put myself in joyce place.. if it is mi.. i always wun lwt a spiritual dead to stumble my little ones.. but my intention is not.. i wun..haizz... i feel so devasted .. y ppl dun go church muz ppl 1st judge em they r spitrtual dry wat bout em? beri spiritual? i dun tink so... they sae words tat hurts n they do dis often.. n it is beri true.. tat time tania share to mi.. i agreree wif her but i din even sae a word to telll her tat leader r like dis.. wat i saae is encouarge her to voice up to account.. to lurve e leaders of their weakness... haizz....



.. i m tryin so hard here... i m realli.. y do ppl juz judge me continually... haizz.. i nv juage em.. i lurve em everytime they tok to mi i cherish e chat realli.. todae yq gif mi e key chain put on my hp is lost.. i m beri sad cuz tat is e onli things to make mi rmb tat they r still wif mi. those happi memories... i lost it.. it drop down does our frenzship juz drop like e keychain? sigh...everytime i blog i will juz cry until e tears is dried thn i will dare to step out of e room...


i m still happie cuz at least i din leave Jesus frm my heart.. i din wan to leave him i din sae i dun nid him.. Jesus..


i thnx u for wat haf happen i noe u meant it good for mi.. =) i understand realli... u r juz helpin mi to encounter deep deep loneliness dependin on myself cuz i always like to rely on ppl.. =)


YES LORD.. :)