~i m JoYfUL 4 u'Re wiF mE~


takken fromm sommeonne bloggg--
i feel so sad to see the backsliders' nicks or profiles.. sometimes i feel very..(ah duno how to say) one word *stupid* thats all... to me.... u are nth but a stupid fool...!!!! NOTHING...

e word stupid broke my heartt.. she onlii noe how to sae.. haff she everr helpp or carree? i dunn evenn see she carrinn for mii.. butt thn.. i dunn exxpectt cuz i nooe i dun nidd i onli nid Jesuss.. i m not self pittyy..

anothher hurttfull thinn - i wennt to another sista blog saw she got label west/hope de linkk.. i m undderr frenn le.. haizzz.. actuallie wen i see west i hope i m insidee but i saw my namme undderrr frenn..

m i realli nth but a 2pidd fooll.. butt e fact is onli God cann understannd myy painn i sharre to abby.. tat's all.. onlii onnce n oncee for all i closee my hearrtt..






soohoon haff passed away durinn studdennt connferrencee 3/12..


God cann u hugg miii.. n renewww mi onnce againn.. smmthh satann keep usee aloot of wayss to hurtt mi frommm my dearestt churchhh frenn wordd... n acttionn.. but they r not wrongg is my own fault.. buttt if u were mii? wen u saw tat u haf been pushh bacckk againn.. n yett.. i see noo onnne att e gatte.. i darre noot openn my gattes evenn i step ouutt i see noo onne... juz a roadd wif noo onne.. God i shall cling on uu.. i noee u noe myy painn.. u haf been helppinn mi wiff alll my stuggless in skkoll.. all thosee bad thinng happen to miii in skolll.. i m not allonnee.. i mmm wif uu.. allthouu i cannot sharee to anyy humann..







tearrs - backslidderr r juz a lonnerr sommetimme i admiree thoosee backslidder wen their shepherd nb leave emmm.. i saw tat in churchh.. but all humann hafff leftt miii.. onlii u sttayy
~hopeless useless cold blooded not a good frenn selfishh soooohoooon~


juz now was readin on yu qian blog juz wanna check how is she. it had been hard on herr..

to my dearest dearest ex sheep

i noe i haf not set a good example..
but u had..
so u muz jia you ok?
God haf his reason for everytin
trust in Him
if u realli feel sad
muz share to ur shepherd
i believe u did
dun so sad ok?
u can overcome it

lurve
soohoon


was seein yq blog some tears juz flow down but i ctrl.. feel so sad.. wen i see it.. e effort of wantin to help her.. but e feelin tat i cannoot... broke my heart.. if i could stay i will help her.. but i m not so good lahz. i stay thn not so mani prb but i mean one more ppl more strenght to help..

tat time i was beri bad.. i ask jie ning to take e kfc seat.. tat time i sit there wif joyce n sz n tat is e most painful moment of my life.. so pain.. but i did not blame anyone but i thnx God to let mi learn n rmb he lurve mi..i tot of puttin e pic in my frenster wanna to wrote tat seat that broke my life.. crazieee?? haizz...

i miss my ex sheeps.. i was tinkin last nite.. tat time pei yu is a nb i go her hse.. gif her corn soup wif abby.. tat kind of desire tat i wanna meet my sheep n bless her.. haf no longer been in mi.. now in skol.. i dun even wanna care.. like judi fall down smth i dun even care to stop n help her.. i got but smth e pain i haf in my heart stoppped mi.. i scare i will step on her or wat.. thn i walk alone holdin on to e pain i had.. god forgiv mi.. 2 mth haf passed i m not in church yett i wann to goo backk..buttt.. smmthhh is stoppin mii.. e ppainn i m goin bacckk to e painn i m fearrin.. abby call mi i dun even pick up she invite mi to her hsee.. i dun evenn wann to goo allthouu i wanna go soo muchh.. i starrtt to ttinnkk.. tat i leavee so lonng.. evenn asha pei yuuu tania we nvv tokk le even in skoll py alwaysss gif mii a feelinn tat is so weridd tat she dunnnwanna tokk to mii.. tat pain.. i commit myselff to stardeeinnn workkin.. beri beri tirredd but i haff nooo choicce to nummbb off my feelinn evt i m alone.. in bus i will use loud blasst technno yo numbb off e painn..

smmthh i noe e church fren like jency n wendy miss mi e fact is i miss em much more.. i m tinkinn of em everydae inn skoll.. rathher thn my skoll frenn.. evenn b4 i m slpiinn.. e miss but yet i hide it.. i dun wanna meet emm.. i haf noo courragee.. let mii b hiddenn..