juz now i blog alot but din publish out

haiss


was tinkin bout church thing

was filled with deep doubts n hurts

wen i tink all over

sz go to YS

to mi there will b no end

u all can ask mi to go back to church


i once told abby i juz go back to church

n let go evt

but she told mi if i dun clarify

i go back will not help mi much

I WONDER Y BECUZ OF MY STUDIES

I CANNOT DO MORE FOR GOD

WHILE SHE LET ANOTHER PERSON

TO B AN UL WEN HER RESULT IS SAME WIF MI

i m not jealous or wat

i feel so unfair

she can str tell mi i spiritually cannot

i dun mind thn some craps reason

which realli hurts

it is not onli once

but moreee...



but i m still glad that they call mi..

while dis week or recently was low tide for mi

realli low..

hais hais hais hais hais

clauz go back to church

we r diff

she leave with no hurts

but i leave wif deep hurts

i rmb tat time i cry wen i refuse to go to church conference

durin dec. tat nite i no longer can take it

wen i tok to abby n jane.

i cry wen i cannot take it anymore

no one understands

abby always sae wan to call mi

in e end oso nvm. i oredi xi guan

but she still helps mi alot

noe she is busy but she realli help mi alot le

thnx abby


hais

God i wonder y life is so unfair..

i wonder if i realli go back

i oso cannot clarify anymore.

tat period was realli beri beri hard for mi to pass by

Lord i noe u saw tat.

so u r askin mi back


wen hs clauz yq wendy jen joyce call mi

to go church to stardee


sometimes wen hurts come my way

i will juz tolerate. swallow it down

i dun cry anymore.

enuff

everythin is enuff

i still can take it

ren ren ren

i wun burst cuz i m not a ballon



how much i go thru

i cannot forgett

i m totally alone tat period

but i m thncful

i haf go thru

perhaps God is e onli witness to all dis

i can sense dis hurt for mi.

comfortin mi.

i can hear dis ans to mi

his comfort.


haiss

knockin on e door of death/despair